January 03, 2008

Phone Call at Work

I got a phone call at work today from my wife while I was at work. It started out with a normal question, "where are you?" I told her I was at work. She asked "why does it sound so hollow there?" I told her I didn't know what she meant by that. She said "Hold up the phone so I can hear the background noise." I did as she asked. After a few moment, I asked "Is there anything else?" She asked "Why can't I hear people typing?" I told her I really didn't know.

Next, she started asking me about some vitamins that the doctor suggested for her. I explained to her (again) that the place we ordered them from got the order screwed up and that we would have to wait. I've been explaining this to her about every other day for a while now.

As usual, she went on and on about how she absolutely had those vitamins and that it was going to make her sick not having them. She went on with her usual routine of blaming me for the problem as if there was something I could be doing that I wasn't and that it would be my fault if something happened to her. I apologized once again to her and explained that there wasn't much I could do about it.

Then I asked if there was anything else she needed. She replied "Well there is, but I don't want to talk about it." When my wife tells me that there's something going on but she doesn't want to talk about it, what she really means is that there is something that she wants to talk about at great length, but wants to pretend as if I'm drawing it out of her.

So, I said "Well, ok.. I'm going to go then." she replied "Oh, I'm so mad right now." I asked, "Ok, what's this about?" she replied "A dream I had.". I suggested, "well if you don't want to talk about it right now, maybe you should write it down." She responded "No, I can't write this down! It's too horrible." I told her "Well, remember, it's just a dream." She yelled at me "No, this is real!"

So, I went ahead and gave her the response she was wanting me to give, "Well, maybe you should tell me about it."

"I dreamed you were in a whore house having sex with people you didn't even know! You have been doing that, haven't you? I don't want you touching me ever again. You have AIDS!"

I answered her, "No, I've never done that." "I don't believe you," she replied. "I dreamed you've been having an affair with some blonde chick. She threw a knife in my back." I told her "I'm sorry but, that has never happened." "You're having an affair aren't you?" she asked. "You have a girl under your desk right now giving you a blow job, don't you? I'll shoot you!". "No, I'm not having an affair," I answered. "I mean, it's fine with me if you're having an affair.", she went on. "She can have you, but I'm affraid you'll hurt our daughter." I answered "Well, I'm not, it was just a dream." "No, this was way to real to be a dream. This was real!".

This was serious to her. She really believed it. But it was so out of the blue and preposterous that it took me totally by surprise. I tried hard to supress it, but I could help but giggle a little bit as I was talking to her. It seemed almost like a joke. Like any minute she would reveal that she was just kidding. But she wasn't kidding. She believed every word about it, including the girl under my desk giving me a blow job, which is why nobody was typing (I guess they were all watching or something).

"This is not funny!" she yelled. "No, I know it isn't, but it was just a dream. I'm not sure how I can help you with this." She responded "I want a divorce and I want full custody! You have AIDS and I don't want you hurting our daughter."

After that, she hung up the phone.

Posted by ehdonhon at January 3, 2008 02:19 PM | TrackBack
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