December 19, 2007

What about Santa Claus?

A few weeks ago, I took my daughter to the store to buy a present for an "Angel Tree" program we have in our area. The idea is similar to the "Toys for Tots" programs. You are given the age and gender of a child who's parents cannot afford Christmas presents, and you buy one for them.

I thought this was a really important lesson for my daughter to learn. I care a lot about poverty in our country. Homelessness just eats at my hear, especially children. I wanted my daughter to learn that she needs to be glad for what she has instead of being upset for what she doesn't. Also, I want my daughter to learn the virtue of giving to others.

Well, at the store, I explained that we were buying a present for somebody that we didn't know. My daughter had a really hard time understanding how that worked. So, I promised to explain all of it for her later.

And later that evening, as it happened, my wife, daughter and I were sitting in a restaurant having dinner, and my daughter brought back up the subject.

I started to explain to her that there are some people that don't have as much as we do. And some children don't get to have presents under the tree like she does. My wife got very angry with me and said "Oh yeah, well what about Santa Claus?".

I was completely taken back. I mean, if my daughter had asked me about that, it would have been a very intelligent question. Something I would have had to answer. But, for my wife to say that on her own and destroy an opportunity to instill some values in my daughter just made me angry.

Then, to push things over the edge, my wife told my daughter, "Don't worry, your dad is wrong. All kids get presents on Christmas from Santa."

I sat there in silence after that, but my blood was boiling.

Posted by ehdonhon at 12:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 12, 2007

Shut the Fuck Up!

My daughter was playing with Christmas ornaments. She was told several times by her mother not to play with the ornaments. Suddenly, she broke one of them. My wife exploded. "What did you do?" My wife was livid. I hurried up into the living room and took my daughter into the kitchen and told her that what she did was wrong. I was trying to separate her from her mother, who I was afraid might hit her. I gave her a timeout for not listening.

As soon as I put her in timeout, my daughter started crying "Mommy! Mommy!". She ran over to my wife and clung to her. I took my daughter back to timeout and she started screaming. My wife yelled at her, "Just shut the fuck up!". I asked "Do you really need to use that kind of language with her?" My wife yelled at me "You shut up too."

My daughter kept screaming "Mommy, Mommy" and running over to her. I took her and put her back in timeout again. Then my wife got tired of hearing her scream and said "That's ok, you can come out." I said "No she can't!". My wife came over to me and told my daughter, "run in the living room". I told my wife "Just because you are a bad mother doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad father". My wife yelled at me, "You're a bad father. You're a molester, that's what you are."

I walked away.

How, oh how is it that I can rescue my daughter from being hurt by my wife, attempt to teach my daughter a lesson about listening by using good parenting skills, and still be turned into the bad guy?

Posted by ehdonhon at 06:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack